


Secret Rendezvous.

by softyjseo



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Coming Out, Concerts, Could be part of a series idk yet, Established Relationship, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Roommates, Secret Relationship, johnkun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 11:10:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17866163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softyjseo/pseuds/softyjseo
Summary: Seo Johnny. Everyone knows him as the lead guitarist of the band The Hour Is Ours. Touring the world and sharing everything with fans, no one suspects him of having secrets,Well, he has one, and his name is Qian Kun.





	Secret Rendezvous.

**Author's Note:**

> *grabs microphone*  
> Gooooooooood evening boys, girls and my non-binary folks!
> 
> This au came to me as a social media au but I failed at that, oh so miserably. I realized writing like this was more my cup of tea, so I decided to write it here instead. It's a typical 'don't knock it till you try it' situation that didn't go very well. 
> 
> Anyway, this is not edited but feel free to point out any mistakes I made so I can edit them later on.
> 
> enjoy!

‘’This is Seo Johnny’s voicemail! For some reason I can’t answer the phone right now, so leave a message after the beep!’’ Kun sighed, dropping his phone onto his bed with his eyes clenched shut. The amount of times he had told Johnny to change his voicemail from English to Korean or have both of the languages in there were too many to count and by now, the Chinese man could understand the sentence by heart.

He had tried calling Johnny four times already, to no avail, and it was getting frustrating. Kun checked the clock on the wall and groaned once more, something he seemed to be good at nowadays. There was only half an hour left till his first lecture of the day started and to be honest, Kun was nowhere near ready for the hours of listening and taking notes that awaited him.

Emotionally nor physically.

‘’Breakfast!’’ Ten’s voice rang through the apartment, making Kun stand up and throw on a discarded shirt before walking out of his room. he was greeted with Ten putting plates with food on the table while Yuta and Taeyong were already seated.

At first, Kun hadn’t wanted housemates. He really liked the idea of living on his own, but at times like these and any other time really, now that he got used to having the chaotic trio around, he was glad he had them. If it weren’t for Ten, Kun would have probably died of food poisoning by now.

Taeil, their older friend who was already out of college and working in the kitchen of some fancy restaurant downtown, was usually the one who cooked whenever he came around the apartment, but Ten wasn’t so bad either.

‘’Wow—you look like shit, mister.’’ Yuta chuckled at his own words as Kun took a seat. Kun rolled his eyes before whacking the Japanese boy across the head with the back of his hand, making him yelp out in pain. The man pouted, turning to look at Taeyong to find some sort of empathy. Instead, Taeyong was smiling at him.

‘’Well deserved, Yu.’’

‘’Back to the point. What’s got your panties in a bunch?’’ Kun turned to look at Ten who took a seat across the table, handing everyone a pair of chopsticks. Kun shrugged, ‘’I called Johnny-hyung four times and he didn’t answer once. –not even once!—I’m beginning to think he bought a new phone without telling me.’’ The trio let out a collective sigh, looking at Kun with sympathy in their eyes. Kun hated it.

‘’I love you guys and all but that whole,’’ Kun motioned with his hands, ‘’in sync thing is still creepy.’’ Kun had known Yuta and Ten from the introduction days during their first year of attending college. They met during the mingle hours for ‘International Students’ and ever since that day Kun had been stuck with them. He met Taeyong a few days later when Ten and Yuta revealed that they had been in an internet relationship with each other for a couple years and made the final decision to go to college together.

Kun wished his boyfriend had such dedication for him.

They were in their third years now, all in their respective majors and classes, but still best friends. Kun had the urge to bash their heads together sometimes, but that was about it.

‘’Well, love that for you. Anyway, back to the issue at hand.’’ Kun groaned, dropping his head on the table next to his bowl of rice. He really hoped he had evaded the subject but Lee Taeyong, as deceptive as ever, had to start again.

‘’He’s in the States right now, right?’’ Ten asked before shovelling some food into his mouth, rendering him unable to talk.

After Kun had nodded that his boyfriend was in fact in America,  Yuta took over as both of his boyfriends were munching on their breakfast. ‘’When does the tour end?’’ Kun shrugged his shoulders, the hunched over position on the table growing quite uncomfortable but he couldn’t find it in himself to move.

Johnny and his band called ‘The Hour is Ours’ had left for their American promotion tour for their newest album barely a week ago to promote their newest album ‘Ethereal’, which was skyrocketing on the charts around the world. Kun was proud, of course he was. Johnny was doing what he loved most and he was succeeding and living his dream. Guilt filled Kun, but he missed him. He missed Johnny so much.

‘’It’s for a month and a half.’’ Kun responded, picking his head up at last to play with his rice. He wasn’t hungry, but he knew Ten would force feed him if he didn’t at least eat something.

‘’Where is he now?’’ Taeyong asked, putting down his chopsticks and looking at Kun with questionable eyes. Kun shrugged, ‘’According to some of his fan-sites they’re in Washington at the moment.’’

‘’Wait, he didn’t tell you where he is?’’ Kun shook his head, bowing it in shame as he uttered the next sentence, ‘’I haven’t spoken to him in three days.’’

Their last phone call ended in quite the fight. Johnny had been tired from their concert in New York but had found the time to FaceTime Kun before the boy had his classes. It started out nice at first, just chatting like they usually do and the occasional ‘I miss you’ being thrown into conversation with the rare ‘I love you’ thrown into mix.

It all went downhill when Jaehyun, one of Johnny’s best friends and the bassist of the band, had entered the room with Sicheng, their main singer and also Jaehyun’s boyfriend while simultaneously also one of Johnny’s best friends. Them entering wasn’t what sparked the annoyance in Johnny’s features, it was what came after it.

After the duo had excused themselves and decided to chill in Sicheng’s and Lucas’ –the drummer of the band—their room, Johnny muttered an incoherent sentence Kun hadn’t quite understood. When the Chinese boy had asked for Johnny to repeat it, the guitarist had snapped.

Basically, what had irked Johnny the most, was the fact that Jaehyun and Sicheng could be as publicly affectionate as they pleased while Johnny was stuck pretending he didn’t have someone when he loved Kun with his whole being. He just really wanted to share that with the world, but Kun wasn’t quite ready.

The fight went on for what felt like hours and by the time the call had ended on a simple ‘’fuck you, seo’’ Kun felt positively drained.

To Kun, he had all the reasons and rights to not want to go public. The Hour Is Ours was one of the most popular bands in their day and age, and while the bandmates were all used to their fair share of hate and homophobic comments, Kun wasn’t. And quite frankly, he didn’t want to have to get used to them.

He loved Johnny, he really did. He had loved Johnny from the moment he saw him during summer break of his first year in high school when Kun’s family had decided to take a trip to Seoul instead of staying in their hometown like they usually did. Johnny and Kun had their summer romance and by the end of Kun’s four week long trip, he was sure he would never see Johnny again. Until the Korean boy decided one summer wasn’t enough and Kun was so relieved he cried into the taller boy his shoulder when Johnny handed him his phone number with a heart next to it.

They stayed in contact, calling as often as their schedules allowed. After Johnny graduated high school his garage band had their big break through. A scout from an entertainment company called YM went to one of their concerts in a local bar and that was that. They were signed and on their way to take over the world in an instant.

Kun was excited, of course he was, and if he had been out to his family at that time he would’ve probably gone public with Johnny before everything blew up in their faces, but he was still straight to his mother and he didn’t feel like changing that any time soon, so Kun was left in the background while Johnny and his band stole the show.

Now, four years later, while the band was thriving and as successful as ever, a world tour in their near future and the entire world knowing who they were and what they did, Kun still wasn’t ready to go public.

At first Johnny said he understood. It went incredibly well for years. Johnny didn’t complain once about how he constantly had to tell interviewers he was single whenever they asked, and as more tattoos appeared on Johnny’s once empty skin, Kun thought they were doing alright.

Turns out, they weren’t and Johnny had been hiding it for a while. Kun wasn’t hurt, necessarily, he had just wished Johnny had been more honest with him about everything. But, Johnny also had to understand that this wasn’t easy, would never be easy.

‘’What happened?’’ Ten asked, eyes worried as he looked at Kun expectantly. Kun sighed, tears welling up in his eyes. ‘’We fought. Johnny-hyung was frustrated and—and he was angry. It was this whole mess and before I knew it I was yelling, too. The call ended so—so badly and I just,, I need him to answer me.’’ Kun didn’t notice he was actually crying till Yuta handed him a napkin to wipe away his tears.

‘’Son of a bitch.’’ Taeyong never swore, so for him to mutter those words was something Kun could laugh at, chuckle at least, and Ten and Yuta let out a collective gasp before turning back to Kun.

‘’Have you tried calling Jaehyun-hyung? Sicheng maybe? Or Lucas?’’ Kun shook his head. He really didn’t want to bother Johnny’s friends with such a thing. He had watched an interview yesterday where Johnny looked like an absolute ghost so Kun knew his bandmates were experiencing Johnny’s annoyance and irritation first hand. He didn’t want to make matters worse and actually involve them in any way.

Yuta sighed, standing up from his chair. ‘’I love you guys and I hope you’ll feel better soon, but I have a public speaking lecture to get to.’’ Kun appreciated the words of love and watched Yuta place a kiss on Ten and Taeyong’s lips before grabbing his bag and walking down the hallway. Not even five seconds later the front door closed.

‘’So what are you going to do now? Are you just going to keep calling him till he answers?’’ Kun shrugged at Ten’s question. ‘’That’s the plan, yeah.’’

‘’And what are you going to do when he actually answers? Apologize? You have done nothing wrong.’’ Taeyong was always the advocate in the house, the one who chose sides based on solid facts instead of his own feelings. Kun wondered why Taeyong wasn’t the one studying Cooperate Law instead of Yuta sometimes.

Ten, on the other hand, was an entire different story. He just didn’t like Johnny, that was that. He had vocalized it on many, many occasions and he didn’t falter or lose the opportunity to do it again and again when people asked.

The dancer his hate toward the guitarist wasn’t based on nothing. Ten had witnessed how, for the past few weeks, Kun had suffered through fights. The fight on the phone a couple days ago hadn’t been the only one and Johnny barely had time for Kun anymore. It annoyed Ten to no end and while Kun tried to keep his boyfriends’ reputation positive around the house, he had given up trying to do so with Ten.

‘’I’m the one who isn’t willing to come out.’’ Kun spoke up after chewing on his rice for way too long, the grains now dry and hard to swallow. Taeyong sighed and shook his head, placing a hand on top of Kun’s shoulder to offer a bit of comfort.

‘’You have every reason to stay in the closet. After what happened with your parents, I was sure Johnny-hyung would understand.’’ Kun swallowed harshly at the mention of his parents, eyes filling themselves with tears once more. His throat clenched shut, chest growing heavy and Kun had the sudden urge to scream.

Johnny knew how much the rejection from his parents had hurt Kun. He had been there to pick Kun up from the airport when he was kicked out and he had been there for weeks after that, picking up the pieces Kun’s family had created by disowning him because of the fact he was gay.

Johnny had seen all of that, and yet he was trying to pressure Kun into coming out to the world, where more rejection, more hate and angry fangirls awaited him. Ready to tear him to shreds.

These thoughts weren’t based on Kun’s pessimistic way of thinking, no. They were based on the amount of homophobic comments he saw underneath Jaehyun and Sicheng’s Instagram posts and tweets. It was based on the hateful articles being written about the band and on how, no matter how hard Lucas tried to show the world that he was bisexual, the interviewers around them only spoke of him liking girls.

Kun didn’t want that. Not now, not ever.

∑

Kun’s lecture felt like it went on for decades, but as he checked his phone on his way out of the auditorium, it had only been two hours –much like his schedule had already planned.

The Chinese boy slumped his shoulders as he walked down the corridor, trying his best to be invisible or blend into the crowd of students around him. Kun couldn’t help but let out a frustrated and desperate sigh as he checked his phone _again_ and there was, once again, no word from Johnny.

He made his way to the student cafeteria –the one notification he did have was a text from Taeyong to eat lunch together with him—his head completely in America, where Johnny was, how he was doing, whether he was sleeping or eating enough. His mind wasn’t anywhere near Seoul, let alone South Korea.

Kun was pretty sure the only thing he remembered from his lecture just now was the loud smacking of the girl behind him her gum. He shivered at the memory.

The student cafeteria was crowded, as usual during lunch time, and Kun had to meander through the tables and students looking for Taeyong. Not that the boy was hard to spot, on the contrary, even, and Kun waved as he spotted the vibrant read head among the people eating.

‘’Kun! It’s been so long!’’ The older joked, making Kun roll his eyes as he returned the hug. Theatre kids and their drama. Taeyong wasn’t an official theatre kid –he had weird obsessions with various of plays, so Kun guessed that part of crazy theatre fan was right—he was enrolled in a dance major with Ten, but took acting classes on the side and was participating with their college’s play for the third consecutive year. Justified theatre kid, but not officially.

Where he got the time, Kun didn’t know. As long as his friend/roommate wasn’t overworking himself, Kun didn’t worry too much.

‘’If this morning counts as forever to you, then sure.’’

Taeyong fake pouted, opening his lunchbox that Ten had prepared. Kun mirrored his actions. In many ways than one Ten was like a mother –making lunch boxes for all of them was one of his tasks—and always made sure they ate enough. It was a perk of having someone who loved to cook in the house.

‘’What’s got your panties in a twist? Besides the, you know, the big man with the guitar?’’ Kun snorted, shaking his head. ‘’Other than my Economics lecture feeling like it took twenty years off of my lifespan, nothing else other than the big man with the guitar. Who—by the way—still hasn’t responded.’’

This time it was Taeyong’s turn to roll his eyes, swallowing his piece of cucumber before opening his mouth. ‘’You have to realize time-zones are a thing, Kunnie.’’ Kun sighed, knowing Taeyong was right.

‘’He isn’t several days behind, hyung.’’ That was true. Kun had been trying to contact Johnny ever since their fall out, and the older had yet to get back to him.

‘’Touché.’’ Taeyong muttered, pointing one of his chopsticks at Kun with a sad smile.

‘’Are you going to work today?’’ Kun nodded. Despite the fact that he felt completely miserable, he still had a work shift to cover at the library.

Taeyong nodded in understanding, ‘’I’ll have Yuta stop by later.’’ Kun appreciated Taeyong’s worries, he really did, and so he gratefully nodded. His boss allowed him to work with headphones in while rearranging the book sand Kun knew himself well enough to know that he’d listen to the Hour Is Ours on repeat during his four hour shift if it wasn’t for Yuta.

‘’If he doesn’t respond today, either, what are you going to do?’’

Kun halted, his movement of putting a piece of chicken to his mouth comically freezing halfway.

He hadn’t thought about that yet.

‘’I—I have no idea.’’

‘’Well, you either have to talk stuff out –when the _fucker_ finally replies—, or you –you know—break up.’’ Kun felt his heart ache at the mention of breaking up with Johnny. The fact that Taeyong cursed was also a concern, but he shrugged it off.

The older knew Kun better than anyone else, better than he himself knew himself, and Kun loved Johnny so much. He couldn’t and didn’t want to imagine a life without the tattooed bastard.

Kun was getting a taste of it right now, and he hated it.

∑

‘’Hi,’’ Hearing Johnny’s voice again was like a breath of fresh air. Kun felt as if though he had been drowning for so long, his head finally reaching the surface again so he could _breath_. After Kun had gotten home from his shift at the library and had finished a dinner consisting of Ten’s leftovers, the Chinese boy had given it one more shot. And to his great surprise, the call had gone through.

Johnny sounded tired. He sounded absolutely wrecked and as Kun looked at the clock and calculated the time difference between Seoul and Washington he realized it was seven thirty in the morning for him. Kun had probably woken him up.

‘’I’m sorry for waking you.’’ He muttered, carefully sitting down on his bed, his legs tucked against his chest as he settled against the wall. Kun could hear a sigh on the other side of the line, and he closed his eyes.

‘’It’s alright, Kunnie.’’ Kun felt actual tears well up at the nickname, having to bite his lip to not erupt into a sob. Johnny wasn’t mad.

‘’How—how have you been?’’ Kun’s voice was shaky and by the way Johnny’s breath seemed to hitch the older had definitely noticed. There was some rustling on Johnny’s side and Kun waited patiently.

‘’Miserable.’’ Kun exhaled loudly, his eyes clenched shut at that simple word. He had seen the pictures, the videos of Johnny being so out of it at the past two concerts they had done. Even during an interview the other day the guitarist looked about ready to collapse. Kun pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh, his occupied hand clutching the phone tighter than necessary.

‘’I’m sorry.’’

Johnny chuckled through the speaker, making Kun frown. ‘’You’re apologizing while I should be the person to say sorry. The argument we had was my fault, Kunnie. Not yours. I said some things I shouldn’t have and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it for the past three days. I couldn’t even bring myself to answer your phone calls out of pure embarrassment.’’ This time, Kun chuckled. A tear escaped his eye and he wiped it off, smiling sadly at his own reflection in the mirror on his wall opposite of the bed.

‘’I missed you,’’ Kun exhaled loudly, his breath shaky and tears starting to stream from his eyes like a waterfall, ‘’so _fucking_ much, Johnny-hyung.’’

‘’I know, baby. I missed you too.’’ There was silence. Kun wanted to say so much. He wanted to yell, wanted to scream that Johnny had no right to get mad at him for something like this because Johnny _knew_ why Kun was so hesitant, however, he also wanted to apologize. He wanted to apologize for holding Johnny back, for forcing him to not say anything about the person he loved. For forcing him to basically hide himself and such a huge chunk of his past from his fans, the ones who brought him where he was now.

Kun bit his lip.

‘’How’s the tour?’’ They spiralled into comfortable conversation soon enough, the argument long forgotten as Kun got to listen to Johnny’s voice for the first time in days –excluding all the interviews Kun had watched to keep up with Johnny—

They hung up after Jungwoo, the band’s manager, walked into Johnny’s hotel room. Kun walked into the living area of the apartment, only to be greeted with his roommates all tangled up together, watching a some movie Kun didn’t bother ask.

Technically, according to official lease contracts, the only people living here were Kun and Taeyong, but Yuta and Ten paid their share of the rent and, logically, shared Taeyong’s bedroom. The room wasn’t big and Kun knew their bed was slightly too small to house the three of them, but they somehow managed.

Watching them cuddle so close together on the remotely spacious couch, Kun didn’t have to guess how they managed it.

‘’I heard you giggle. Did he finally answer?’’ Kun felt Yuta’s eyes follow him into the kitchen, staying on his back and Kun damned the choice of an apartment with a bar function instead of a wall separating the kitchen and living room. He smiled, though, grabbing a glass and filling it with water before turning back around.

By now, the movie was on pause and the trio was looking at Kun as if he was about to give them the solution for world peace. Kun chuckled, shaking his head. ‘’He did answer, yes.’’ Ten and Taeyong whooped, their hands in the air and Kun couldn’t help but laugh.

‘’Did you guys talk it out?’’

‘’Sorta.’’ Kun answered Yuta reluctantly, because he knew this was coming. There was a lot left unsaid, like usual, and no matter how much Kun wanted them to _really_ talk it out he didn’t want to bother Johnny. Nor did he want to get in another fight.

‘’What do you _mean_ sorta?’’ Yuta didn’t drop the topic like Kun had hoped he would, so the Chinese boy sighed and slumped his shoulder. He was glad he had decided to put his pyjamas on before walking into the living room, because he had been expecting such a conversation.

‘’We apologized, h-‘’

‘’Wait, _we_? Tennie, please tell me I heard that wrong.’’ Taeyong looked horribly pissed, now sitting up right and staring daggers at Kun like he had just stolen the small three legged puppy Taeyong had been obsessed with over the past three weeks from his own hands.

‘’Yeah babe, you heard that right.’’

‘’That’s bullshit!’’

‘’It’s not! We’ll talk it out when he gets back! I just didn’t want to fight again over the phone and end up not talking to him, _again._ ’’

Yuta sighed, ‘’So instead you’re just going to skirt around it till he gets home or till it blows up in both of your face’s?’’ Kun winced at the Japanese boy’s words, ‘’If you say it like that it sounds terrible.’’

‘’That’s because it is terrible!’’ Taeyong retorted.

‘’It’s not going to ‘blow up’ in our faces, though!’’ Kyn protested against his friends statement’s, shoulders slumped. ‘’Can you guys please just, support this? That’s all I’m asking.’’ Kun looked at his friends expectantly. A tiny part of him knew they were right, but he shook it off like a speck of dust.

‘’Fine.’’

‘’Yeah, but just because it’s you.’’

‘’You’re an idiot making a horrible decision, but sure. I’ll support.’’ Kun rolled hs eyes at Yuta, but he guessed this was the best he was going to get for now. A silence fell over the room, leaving Kun to put his glass in the sink before whispering a quiet goodnight and walking to his room.

‘’Yukkuri, aren’t you being a little hard on him?’’ Kun could hear Ten;s failed attempt at whispering as the Chinese boy retreated to his room. Kun tried not to laugh out of frustration, This was a horrible situation to be in and Kun realized that. Maybe it was time to start thinking about giving in and just—just going for it.

The thought of coming out to the world was scary, scarier than it had been to his parents. On the other hand, there was a new feeling of craving, wanting to be with Johnny out in public and kissing him whenever he felt like it.

That feeling wasn’t foreign, but Kun could feel it getting stronger the more he fantasized. Walking with their hands clasped together along the sidewalk, not minding the stares and the whispers and just being in love with each other.

Kun let himself drop onto his bed with an exasperated sigh.

∑

About a week later Kun found himself walking down the aisles of their local supermarket, phone in hand and Ten fleeing around to get whatever they needed. Usually Kun paid attention, but he was focused. Enchanted. Completely captivated. Kun knew Johnny loved the thrill of being on stage. Johnny had once tried to explain it to him as a sugar rush that never really goes away until a few hours later after a long shower and you crave it again and again.

To Kun it sounded like some sort of weird drug, but that was okay.

As Kun watched Johnny jump around on stage, belting out the lyrics to one of their songs ‘Blow Your Mind’ –Kun knew the new album by heart. His favourite was the title song ‘Recipe for Disaster’—and absolutely shredding his guitar. The video cut off as Johnny jumped down from one of the side stages onto the main stage.

Kun smiled, a sense of pride spreading through his chest as he let Johnny’s voice echo around in his head.

‘’Hey!’’ Ten bumped Kun’s shoulder. The boy was pulled back to the grocery store they were in with great reluctance. He wanted to be back in the crowd of the concert. ‘’Sorry.’’ He apologized, closing twitter and pocketing his phone with a sigh. He followed the Thai boy to the magazine section.

Ten had a habit of checking out the magazines every time they went into convenience stores or grocery stores but never actually bought any. It’s part of the reason Kun hated being on grocery duty with the other male –it was the only reason, really.—

While Taeyong and Yuta were, oddly so, straight to the point while shopping, Ten was the exact opposite. Buying groceries with Taeil was a terror Kun never wanted to experience again. He had never spent so much time in a supermarket before and he really didn’t plan on doing that, ever again. To Taeil’s great pain, of course.

Kun wasn’t paying attention and bumped into Ten’s back, who’s eyes were trained on one particular magazine.

‘’What are you—‘’ Ten grabbed the magazine, turning around and pushing it into Kun’s chest with a loud smack.

‘’When was the last time you talked to Johnny-hyung?’’ Kun raised his eyebrows, his hand raising to grab onto the article Ten had so rudely pushed into his chest. What was Ten on about?

‘’Yesterday night, why?’’ Kun answered Ten’s harsh glare. ‘’Read it.’’ Kun turned to look at the magazine, confusion probably evident in his features. He gasped, however, as he saw Johnny’s face on the front page, his eyes fixating on the brunette next to him in the picture.

‘’Has Johnny Seo finally found ‘the one’?’’ Kun read the headline out loud, probably too loud considering for where they were standing, venom in his voice as he scanned the girl’s face. ‘’Who is she?’’ Ten let out a sigh, taking the magazine from Kun’s clenching hands.

‘’That’s professional dancer Amanda Berlow. She’s American, obviously and apparently people think they’re dating.’’ Kun bristled. This wasn’t the first time it had happened. Tabloids and gossip magazines often think Johnny is dating whichever girl he’s sighted with. One time, they even accused him of dating his cousin. Fair enough, they didn’t know the girl was Johnny’s cousin, but the point still stands. But, those past times, Kun had been able to shrug it off, knowing that he was the one Johnny came home to.

This time, however, Kun felt anger well up in his chest and a foreign feeling settling in his throat that he couldn’t swallow down. His hands clenched into fists as he bit his lip.

‘’Kun, I’m sure John—‘’

‘’I know he didn’t do anything with her. They look like they were just talking. What fucking _bothers_ me is that they always—always!—have to assume Johnny is single! I’m right here!’’ Kun felt the sudden need to storm off into the world and announce that Seo Johnny was his and his alone. No one else’s.

 

‘’Johnny-hyung?’’ Kun was shaking, his leg bouncing on the floor of his bedroom. He knew Ten, Taeyong and Yuta were probably standing in the living room, waiting for Kun to come out either crying or triumphant, but he needed to call Johnny.

After Ten and him had gotten home, Kun had gone on a thirty minute rant about how he hated it when magazines did what they did. After that, he had spent fifteen minutes talking about how he was scared to come out but also ready to show the world that Johnny was his.

The trio had sat there and listened and at the ending Yuta had smacked the back of Kun’s head before hugging him. Taeyong and Ten’s reactions were no different.

‘’Kun? Is everything okay?’’ It was early on in the morning in America and Kun guessed the band was travelling with their tour bus because he could hear noises in the background, recognizing the voices of Jaehyun, Sicheng, Lucas and Jungwoo. He could also hear the noises their tour bus usually makes and eyeing the clock, Kun didn’t have to guess anymore.

‘’Kun? Is everything okay?’’

Kun felt tears well up in his eyes. He was so, so done. Done with every magazine, website or fan assuming that Johnny was single or dating every girl he came in contact with. He was done hiding, even though the thought of leaving his hiding space scared him to death.

Hide and seek was over.

‘’Who is she?’’ Kun knew Johnny would never, ever cheat. Not in a million years. But, he had to ask. He had to be certain.

‘’Who?’’ Johnny sounded stressed, tired, and no matter how many times Kun told himself it was part of the tour, he still felt bad.

‘’The girl you were seen with last night? Amanda what’s her face?’’ A silence fell on the other side of the line, and for a second Kun felt terror growing in his stomach. The bomb was diffused, however, by Johnny letting out a long sigh.

‘’She’s the daughter of the owner of the venue we played at last night. She asked the band out for dinner before the show. Oh, and she’s gay, by the way. Totally into vaginas. I don’t stand a chance, not even if I wanted to.’’ Kun laughed through the relief crashing over him like waves hitting the shore, his eyes closed as he let out a breath he didn’t how he was holding.

‘’I’m done, babe.’’ Kun felt his throat dry up after he said it.

‘’What do you mean, love?’’ Johnny sounded scared, his voice raised in panic and Kun realised within a second how awful and dooming that must have sounded.

‘’You’re—you’re breaking up with me?’’ The thought alone made Kun’s skin crawl and he shook his head, regardless of Johnny not being able to see him.

‘’No! Definitely not! Fuck no! I’m sick of hiding, hyung!’’

∑

Kun was in awe. He watched as Johnny jumped around on stage, singing and playing his heart out like his life depended on it. The crowd reacted so well, a wave of constant jumping, hands in the air and cheering screaming back to the band as loud as the band was screaming to them.

It was breath taking. Kun had seen Johnny play live only once before, in the crowd at one of their first bar concerts in Seoul.

But this, this was different. Different because of the nerves eathing him alive from the inside out, but also different because Johnny looked so alive. So happy. Kun watched as Johnny ran across the runway stage, guitar on his back and hands high fiving the ones fans had raised in glee. Johnny looked whole on stage, his black ripped skinny jeans and white tank top clinging to his body. They displayed his tattoos so well and despite the boy looking extremely hardcore while playing this festival stage, Kun wanted to coo.

Kun also had the least bit of arrogance in him to think that he was part of the reason why the guitarist was smiling so big, so wide as he was.

Beautiful Soul, one of the songs Johnny admitted to having written for Kun, started playing. Everything but Johnny’s guitar parts were pre-recorded and for now it just served as background music, but Kun could see the crowd slowing down as the soft strums of the now acoustic guitar carried across the field.

This was it. Kun bit his lip, watching as Jaehyun, Sicheng and Lucas promptly walked away from their instruments, making their way backstage. Kun casted a look at the crowd and was met with confused but intrigued faces. It helped fuel his anxiousness.

Kun took a deep breath. All of this had been his and Johnny’s plan from the moment Kun told Johnny he wanted to come out. Tomorrow, The Hour Is Ours was flying back to Korea after finishing their North American tour off in Toronto, Canada, and Kun had flown in specifically for this festival.

Jaehyun, Lucas and Sicheng made their way toward Kun, giving him reassuring nods before Sicheng pulled him into a hug. Kun wasn’t extremely close to Johnny’s friends, but he considered them to at least be friends. He was going to work on that, though, as Kun planned to spend a lot more time with the band from this moment forward.

Jungwoo had already signed him up for a premium visitors pass into YM headquarters and it was being delivered to his mailbox in the upcoming days.

The trio took their spots at the side, making Kun blush. ‘’Wouldn’t wanna miss this.’’ Jaehyun winked.

Kun swallowed, being handed a microphone from one of the staff members. Kun read his tag, thanking the boy—Felix—with a timid smile and a whisper.

The Chinese boy was about to come out to the world. To pesky teenagers who thought they had a shot with Johnny and to his parents, once again. But, most of all, he was coming out to Johnny. Coming out about how much he loved him, about how Kun would give him the world if he could and about how much Johnny had changed his life for the better.

‘’I realize that this might be odd to some of you—who am I kidding, probably all of you—but it’s for a reason. A damned good reason at that.’’ This song hadn’t been on the public setlist due to the fact that this was a pretty punk rock/alternative festival, and so Kun could get behind the fact that some fans were confused.

The crowd fell silent as Johnny talked, apart from a few whistles here and there. It lightened the atmosphere a bit.

‘’I’m going to introduce you to my world, my universe and everything beyond that. To the person I’ve loved for a very, very long time. The person who I wrote and will continue to write my love songs about,’’ Johnny raised his arm, pointing at Kun with such an incredible smile on his face Kun was left completely breathless for a moment, relishing in the smile like it was his forever.

‘’I’d like to welcome Kun to the stage.’’ The crowd went absolutely buck wild, cheers deafening and whistles so high Kun was sure the security dogs were the only ones hearing the.

With shaky legs and trembling hands, Kun walked up to Johnny. He crossed the stage to sit in one of the stools had prepared for him, his shoulders tense as he looked over at the crowd. It had looked big from backstage, but sitting in front of what looked like at least six thousand people standing on a field, Kun felt very, very small.

But, Johnny was there to make him feel big and strong again.

‘’Hello everyone!’’ Though heavily accented, Kun was thankful for his sliver of knowledge in the English language as he greeted the humongous crowd with a nervous—bordering uncomfortable—smile.

Johnny looked over at him, his eyes filled with so much emotion Kun couldn’t even begin to try and decipher. What he did spot almost immediately was the adoration in the Korean man’s eyes. Kun felt like he was holding Johnny’s entire galaxy right there in his hands instead of the microphone.

‘’I’m Kun!’’ He continued, the crowd cheering even louder. As Kun scanned the faces of people in the front row he could see some very, very disappointed fan-sites and he could physically feel the nerves re-entering his system. The looks weren’t exactly judgmental—Kun was mostly afraid of that—but he was scared they wouldn’t accept him. Wouldn’t think he was good enough for Johnny.

But, as he felt Johnny’s hand reach for his right in front of all these people, in front of basically the entire world because there were cameras flashing and videos were being filmed, Kun felt more than enough.

‘’Everyone, this is Kun. My boyfriend.’’

**Author's Note:**

> *leaves stage*
> 
> Before you start yelling! I might make this a part of a series! So, don't fret, there's a ninety-nine percent change I won't leave you hanging. 
> 
> Please let me know what you thought! I love reading comments!! 
> 
> you can always contact me here:
> 
> [My Twitter](https://twitter.com/softyjseo) [cc](https://curiouscat.me/softyjseo)


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